I started documenting my medical marijuana journey with a neat plan – I’d title each post with the week number and write a post every other week. That’d not be asking too much of myself, would it? Well, my life got to be really busy and I haven’t been able to keep up with writing for this blog. So instead of a highly organised approach, I’ll be posting whatever I feel up to posting, whenever I feel up to posting. Today, that’s a pic dump with blurbs. Long-ass blurbs. Sooorrry Boot That. I didn’t get dressed up for halloween so you’ll just have to make do with me pulling faces.
So here are some pictures with lengthy captions to try to describe my busy life as a medical marijuana user:
I try not to have regrets. I’ve done some painfully stupid, and at times, really fucked up shit in my life, but I insist on finding the joy and the beauty that resides in everything. I do this because I have the power to choose to be either regretful about or grateful forthose experiences. I enjoy feeling gratitude and I don’t enjoy feeling regret. Instead of avoiding living, like I used to do (I didn’t leave our apartment in Berlin for 8 months) in case I do something I regret, I’d rather get on with living and be grateful for every moment that I get to enjoy being on this planet, in this era, with you all. And if I do some stupid shit along the way, like falling in love with a handsome psychopath who just wants me to bolster his ego before discarding me and shaming me, well, what a marvellously hateful character he will become in my stories…
Every trauma I experience can become a part of an abstract artwork – a gorgeous secret that only I know is there. Arguments can become exquisite twists and pretty weaves in my knitting and crochet. Mistakes, ugliness and shame can become the organic foundations, the fertiliser, of entire forests of accomplishment and achievement, because my failures teach me how to succeed.
Some night recently, around halloween, I got up to pee and climbed back into bed with the thought, “Who am I?” The answer came back to me; “I AM.”
I slept well then, because I choose to be gratefully, gloriously, *fabulously* ME.