I use medical marijuana. So far it’s the only psychiatric medication that has enabled me to do the psychological work on myself that I need to live my life at its full potential.
I’m an introvert. Quite a lot of my self work takes place in private, in a safe and comfortable environment, with lap activities to lull my foremind and allow the more trance-like innermind to flow more easily.
I make time to sit quietly for an hour, set up a comfortable spot on the couch with a hot beverage and some menthol sweets, vape some cannabis and then make myself comfortable under my blanket, on my heating pad, with music on the telly or via my phone and I allow myself to do the equivalent of nothing for a bit. Because doing nothing occasionally is important for me. It’s important to give myself a break from asking things of myself, from challenging myself, from giving to and taking from others, from engaging with life beyond myself.
I’m deep into exploring my feelings about myself at the moment. I’m doing some long-needed work with my self-esteem. I’ve also discovered a penchant for self-pity which I’ve completely overlooked until now and I’m trying not to be disgusted with myself both for the self-pity and for not catching it years ago.
Because my work is very much with my identity and how I feel about myself at the moment, I started making psychedelic selfies to keep me focused on myself during my musings. And I’ll tell you what, there are some interesting Catherines in me. Some of them are funny as fuck, others are strong and determined and just a special few are like oh dear, does she know she’s not supposed to chew the lipstick?
I am allowing myself to be fabulous. When, in my musings, I remember a behaviour of mine from the recent past that I didn’t like, I think upon how to do that same thing fabulously, instead of awkwardly or weirdly or childishly as I originally did it. Both the awkward me and the fabulous me find their way into my psychedelic selfies, which is wonderful, because all of my Catherines are valuable and deserve to be celebrated in my art, fabulously.
Here they are:
Psychedelic Selfies Collection ONE
Psychedelic Selfies Collection TWO
Psychedelic Selfies Collection THREE
Psychedelic Selfies Collection FOUR
Psychedelic Selfies Collection FIVE
I hope one day people will say
my art was a true reflection of the time.
